10 Things Calm Parents Do Instead of Correcting in the Moment
- Laurie Roberts
- Jan 13
- 2 min read
Calm parenting isn't passive. It's strong, steady leadership. Correction Isn't wrong. Timing is everything. You're playing the long game.
Pause instead of pouncing.
Example: Your teen snaps "Why do you always do this?" You take a breath, unclench your jaw, and say nothing yet, even though everything in you wants to respond.
Lower your voice instead of raising it.
Example: Your child is getting louder. You intentionally speak more quietly, forcing them to slow down to hear you. This often deescalates faster than a lecture.
Name the emotion before addressing behavior.
Example: Say "I can hear how frustrated you are or "This feels really unfair to you". No correction yet; just acknowledgement.
Be curious, not judgmental or confrontational.
Example: Instead of "Watch your tone." You say: "Something feels off, what's going on right now?"
Delay the lecture.
Example: You mentally note, We'll talk about this later and choose to revisit it after dinner, after sleep or next day when everyone's emotions are regulated.
Protect the relationship over being right.
Example: You don't force an apology. You don't win the argument. Choose closeness over control. Trusting the conversation will come later.
Repair instead of replaying the mistake.
Example: Later you say: "Earlier was hard. I don't love how that went. Can we reset?" No rehashing. No shaming. Just repair.
Choose private conversations over public corrections.
Example: Don't correct your teen in front of siblings or friends. Wait until you're alone, because dignity matters.
Model the regulation you want to see.
Example: Name your emotion: "I need a minute to calm down before I respond." Show them what self-control actually looks like.
Trust that one moment will not control their character.
Example: You don't label them as "disrespectful" or "rude." You see a kid having a hard moment, not a bad kid.
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