Things Teens Wish Parents Knew... (as told by a teen)
- Laurie Roberts
- Feb 10
- 3 min read
Updated: 1 day ago
"15 Things Teens Wish Their Parents Knew: Insights from a Teen's Perspective"
Understanding the Teenage Mind
As a coach, I empower individuals and families to build stronger relationships. My focus is on bridging communication gaps, especially between parents and teens. Here are 15 things teens wish their parents knew, told from the perspective of a teen.
1) Not Every Conversation Has to Be a Lesson
Sometimes, teenagers just want a friend. You’ve been there with them for over 13 years. All you want to do is teach, discipline, and mentor. However, teens often hide their feelings because they fear judgment.
Take a moment to reflect. Are you constantly critiquing their choices? Instead, try asking questions like a friend would. When they respond, listen actively. This builds trust.
2) We Get Tired, Stressed, and Anxious Too
We’ve all heard it: “When I was your age, life was so much harder.” But life isn't easy for a teenager. In fact, teens today report higher stress levels than adults.
We juggle homework, school, friendships, sports, and family expectations. When your teenager expresses anxiety or stress, take it seriously. We have feelings too, regardless of our age.
3) Our Room is Our Safe Space
After a long day, our room is our sanctuary. It’s where we unwind and be ourselves. Here’s what we wish you would do:
Respect our need for privacy.
Knock before entering.
Close the door when you leave.
Text us instead of barging in for small requests.
Allow us to organize our space as we see fit.
Imagine being interrupted during your favorite show. It’s frustrating, right? The same goes for us.
4) We’re Still Learning A Lot
Mistakes are part of growing up. Let us learn on our own terms. Some parents have specific ways they want things done. Instead, encourage us to find our own methods.
This independence fosters confidence. If you want us to make decisions for ourselves, allow us the space to do so.
5) Stop Forcing Things We’re Not Into
We’ve heard that “computer science is the future.” But that doesn’t mean we all share that passion. We might be drawn to art, sports, or entrepreneurship.
The world is evolving, and teens are often more aware of these changes than adults. Respect our interests and let us explore our paths.
6) Respect Our Privacy
Privacy is essential for us. When you invade it, we feel the need to hide. If we want to share something, we will. Being nosy only pushes us away.
7) Don’t Bug Us When We’re Upset
When we’re down, constant questioning can feel overwhelming. We appreciate your concern, but we need space. If we’re ready to talk, we will.
Avoid making assumptions about our feelings. If we come home upset, don’t jump to conclusions. Just be there for us.
8) Ask If You Can Share Your Thoughts
When we open up, listen. After we share, ask if we want your thoughts. This simple question can change the dynamic of our conversation.
If we decline, respect our wishes. Sometimes, we just need someone to listen.
9) Take A Different Approach
How do you communicate with us? If yelling is your go-to, it’s time for a change. Instead, try a calm and respectful approach.
Treat us like adults. This shift can lead to more productive conversations.
10) Reward Us, Don’t Hate Us
We strive to help around the house, but sometimes we fall short. Positive reinforcement goes a long way. Acknowledge our efforts when we do something right.
This encourages us to keep trying.
11) We Rebel Because We’re Curious
Rebellion isn’t always defiance; it’s often curiosity. We want to explore and understand the world. If you guide us without imposing, we’ll learn valuable lessons.
12) Compromise is Key
Teenagers appreciate compromise. The phrase “Because I said so” is dismissive. Instead, offer reasons for your requests.
This fosters mutual respect and understanding.
13) Our Emotions Are Just as Valid as Yours
We feel pain, joy, and everything in between. Don’t dismiss our emotions. Instead, ask how we’re feeling and try to understand our perspective.
Treat us as equals, and we’ll respond positively.
14) Our Phone is Our Social Life
If you think our phones are ruining our lives, think again. They connect us with friends and opportunities.
Here’s what our phones help us with:
Connecting with friends
Learning new topics
Managing finances
Finding job opportunities
Joining interest-based groups
Don’t judge us for using technology; it’s part of our world.
15) We Love You, It’s Just Hard to Show It
Despite our frustrations, we appreciate everything you do. We may struggle to express our love, but it’s there.
Show us appreciation, and we’ll reciprocate. It’s a two-way street.
By implementing some of this advice, you can foster better understanding and love between you and your teen.
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